Monday, November 29, 2010

Cupcakes and other happy happy things.

You know what makes me happy? Cupcakes.

Let's make a list of things that make me happy.

1. Cupcakes.

2. People who make me cupcakes.

3. People who don't make me feel guilty for inhaling 12 cupcakes in the last 3 days.

4. Coffee. I wish coffee were a person because he'd totally be my boyfriend.

5. Pepsi. I am on a total Pepsi kick right now and you know what? I am loving every minute of it because I normally don't drink soda.

6. Finding a place in Ramstein that does Brazilian waxes. Yay to being hair free and care free! I thought I was going to have to figure out how to wax myself for the next three years. I tried to do this a month and a half ago. I'm an idiot. Big preggo belly in the way and I try to wax myself for the first time. I spilled hot pink wax all over the carpet, Christopher had to spend an hour trying to iron it up, I burned my va-jay-jay, and I had to take my ass to the lady who does my waxes and explain to her why it looked like my underwear was hosting the Special Olympics. I. am. awesome.

7. Coming up with really mean things to say or awesome comebacks. I get so proud of myself for being an asshole. Christopher gives me gold stars (which is really just saying "Gold Star!" and giving me a kiss. Our friends hate us).

8. My iPhone 4... even though I only know Christopher and my friend Kathy in Germany, I still felt it necessary to have an iPhone. I still have no fucking clue what my phone number is because numbers in Germany are confusing as hell. And honestly, who the fuck is going to call me anyway?! Christopher is not allowed to ask why I need an iPhone. I just do dammit.

9. Bones. I guess this is the equivalent of putting your kid in front of the TV but I'm totally okay with it right now. Sometimes I walk into the house and immediately give the dogs bones to chew on. They completely ignore me and happily chomp away on their bones for hours. I just don't have the energy to entertain them right now.

10. My $9 fuzzy fleece men's pajama pants from Walmart. If I could have a complete outfit made of this shit, I would. I want to roll around in a bed piled sky high with these fuzzy pants and laugh like a crazy person.

11. Books. I wish books were people and could be my friends. I'd want them to hold me and read themselves to me. Why am I sleepy all of a sudden?

12. Christopher. He is so warm and cuddly and smells so awesome. If I could crawl inside of him and wear him like a suit, I would. I like the way his armpits smell. Don't judge me. Sometimes, I just want to bite his face because it's so freakin cute. Nom nom nom! The fact that he knows how completely insane I am and still loves me is awesome. Or maybe he loves me because I'm crazy.... which makes him just as crazy... What a weirdo!!!


Miranda LaRaut-Hartrampf said...

wonderfully said, i wish i had kept up on the waxes... but i inevitable said fuck it.... i just could not keep doing it. And Bones is amazing.

Keri said...

I am amazed and in awe of the fact you even care what your "nether-regions" look like at this point! And a little jealous, because I have to really dig deep to care about mine, and I am NOT pregnant! LOL. It's just one more chore on the list of many.

Cupcakes are never something to judge about.

I also love to bite my husband. I can't figure out if it's out of affection or a genuine desire to hurt him. Maybe half and half.

madge said...

The brazilian stuff...I see the point of it now, but I dunno if I can bring myself to pay someone to do that to me. I do the same exact thing with the dogs. If it's raining or I just don't feel like it and they're looking at me like "why mom? why won't you walk us?" I throw them a bone and they're like "yaaay! what is walk?"

I would also like to be friends with books. Although there are some books *ahem, Pillars of the Earth*, that I would like to beat the shit out of.

Keri said...

I chose you for the Stylish Blogger Award!
To see what to do go:

T B said...

Honestly, I just really hate hair and after trying to wax myself, I will gladly pay other people to do it for me. lol.

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

Thanks for the follow on my blog!!! I am following you now too!

Don't forget to stop by today for Touchy Topic Tuesday to join in our debate! Today's topic: Santa Claus!


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