Randoms & Pictures

This is just going to be a random post.

Oatmeal is disgusting. I'm trying to increase my milk supply and last night I made some awful avocado concoction and this morning I had oatmeal. No bueno. I'm going to order Mother's Milk Tea and see how that goes. Anyone have any other suggestions?

I got my Sunbaby 4.0's in and I heart them. They're so soft and seem so much more comfy than the Thirsties Duo Snap Wrap covers and inserts. I'm upset that I only ordered 12 of them to start. I'm going to order 12 more. I'm still waiting on 7 Alvababy's to get here too. I think I'm addicted to buying cloth diapers. Honestly, I want to order 24 more Sunbaby's but I think Christopher might have something to say about that...

I need to vaccum and clean the house. I really don't want to... at all.

My feet are always cold. I'm too lazy to get up and get my fuzzy socks.

The landlord is almost done putting up the fence around the front of the house. I'm SO happy about this. It has been irritating having to take the dogs out front on a leash and having to worry about leaving the baby and not being able to hear her cry. She's been pretty good and I try to make it quick but it still makes me really uncomfortable. And, it's not really fair to the dogs.

I'm really bad with uploading pictures. Mostly because the files are so huge and it takes forever to upload and I'm lazy. How do you guys upload so many pictures? Do you just deal with the slow upload?

Bean turned 2 months on the 24th. She's been in 6 month clothes for a week. Crazy huh? She's a big girl. I don't think I ever really had a "newborn." I swear, her hands are like a toddlers.

Love, love, love, love, LOVE my two babies =)

Last Weekend!

So this is our last weekend to do whatever we want without a baby! Well, almost whatever we want.

Christopher the genius decided to accept a dinner invitation for Saturday night at his boss' house and then volunteered us to bring deviled eggs because he loves deviled eggs. I mean really??? Our last Saturday of freedom and you sign us up for a work related dinner? And I have to make something on top of all the freezer meals I've been making? I think this is just his way of getting deviled eggs. Genius, I tell ya.

So, we've had to shuffle our plans and despite the fact that he's still got a bookshelf to finish and a wardrobe to build, we are going to go see The Green Hornet tonight. We are also planning on getting breakfast tomorrow morning (found a place on base that serves American style breakfast! Yay!), finishing up some last minute grocery shopping, making his dumb deviled eggs, and going to this dinner. I can't begin to tell you how unexcited I am. I can just see it now... I'm going to get stuck talking to the wives and answering all sorts of questions about the baby and blahhhhhh. I just want to stay home and read. I can't be antisocial forever, I know. It's bad for his career. But seriously?! I'm having a baby on Monday!

I go in on Sunday to meet with the anesthesiologist and find out what time to come in on Monday morning. The rest of the day will be spent cleaning the house like a mad woman and supervising Christopher while he bathes the dogs. I still hate them by the way. And their damn bark collars aren't here yet!

Every day that passes, Christopher and I look at each other and we're like, "Holy crap... X more days." It is absolutely unbelievable. It just doesn't feel real to me yet. I don't feel mature enough to be someone's mom. I keep looking at the bassinet in the bedroom and I can't believe that in a few days, a baby will be laying in it.

I am terrified.

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Currently Reading:

Jail is in my future.

When I adopted my dogs, I thought they were the greatest things in the world. They didn't annoy me. When my mom would tell me to get rid of them or my dad would say they were idiots, I'd defend them and get angry. Now? I wish someone would knock on my door and offer to take them far far away.

I'm pretty sure it's the pregnancy. I absolutely can't stand them. The sight of their faces makes me insanely angry. Christopher is scared for them... and he should be. With my pregnancy hormones, I'm about ready to murder them and go to jail.

I'm pretty sure that my dogs are the absolute stupidest dogs on the face of this fucking planet. This is a list of their vices:

1. They bark like crazy when people are at the door.
2. They bark like crazy when they hear a doorbell ring on the television.
3. They bark like crazy when the telephone rings.
4. They bark like crazy when people walk by the house.
5. If they don't bark like crazy when people walk by the house, they whine an insane amount, huff, and run around from room to room freaking out.
6. They shed... a LOT.
7. Philly pisses on his leg at least once a week. How fucking stupid do you have to be that you piss on your fucking leg at least once a week. Pissing is something you do 3 times a god damn day, FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT.
8. Philly screams, and I mean SCREAMS like a little girl who is being murdered when he sees another dog while being walked.
9. Vega attacks Philly and makes him yelp during his screaming fit when she sees another dog while being walked.
10. They pull me around like they're pulling a sled in the fucking Iditarod EVERY time I walk them. EVERY time. I don't fucking understand it. They're walked 3 times a day, it's not like they're trapped in a cage all day and finally tasting freedom for the first time.

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I cannot deal with this shit when I bring home a newborn baby. And I REALLY cannot deal with this shit for a year on my own while Christopher is deployed.

So, I did something I never thought I would do. I ordered no-bark shock collars.

Christopher wouldn't let me order one with a remote control because he's scared that at this point, I won't be able to control myself. But, I think I am going to order the ones with the remote control before Christopher deploys. I will NOT have them pulling me during walks when I've got the baby with me.

Every time I hear them go nuts barking, I know I made the right decision ordering those damn bark collars. I cannot wait for them to get here. Seriously... can't fucking wait.

I also bought a super tall baby gate that blocks them in the foyer.

Our foyer is a pretty damn good size and they're lucky that that's where they'll get to spend their time at night when we sleep and when we leave the house. Honestly, I want to keep them trapped in the foyer 24 hours a day but that's probably being mean.

Anyway, if you ever consider getting a dog. Don't. Seriously. I completely understand why my mom was so against having pets when I was growing up. I hate admitting when she's right but damn, she was right.

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Currently Reading:

FUTURE FWAIL!

I figure I should write down some resolutions for 2011. You know, so I have a list of goals to feel bad about next year because I completely didn't even make a real attempt to achieve them.

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1. Take more pictures.
This should be done considering how much I spent on camera equipment last year to prepare for the baby's arrival.

2. Stop wasting money.
See #1.

3. Learn to use the KitchenAid mixer I received as a gift in 2009 and has never been outside of its box.
Maybe this should really be labeled, "Stop being lazy."

4. Learn to bake some cakes and cookies and other shit from scratch.
Please do not eat everything you make.

5. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.
Especially since you probably will eat everything you make with the KitchenAid mixer.

6. Work on my temper.
Xanax or Valium anyone?

7. Stop hating on the dogs.
Maybe there is doggy Valium somewhere out there...

8. Try to be all Stepford Wife by decorating, cleaning, cooking, baking, and all that domesticated bullshit.
Or... pray to all the Gods in existence that I get hired somewhere and I can pay someone to do this for me.

9. Be an awesome mom.
You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

10. Survive the upcoming deployment.
Skype? Check. Vibrator? Check. Cookies, Cakes, and Chocolate? Check.

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I guess what it all boils down to is... try to be slightly less neurotic than last year. 

Setting myself up for failure... it's what I do.

Random Annoying Things

I've been in a particularly bitchy mood so here are a few things that are irritating me now.

1. I hate walking the dogs. I love them but they are horrible walkers. They pull me, they wrap themselves around poles, trees, my legs, and get spastic. I make PB do it more and more now that I'm bigger but I totally want to throw a hissy fit every time I have to do it. And this morning Vega just walked around sniffing at everything forever and ever and refused to do anything. Stupid poo face dog!!!

2. I hate pooping. Honestly, I think my pooper organs are screwed up. I've never been a healthy once a day pooper. I usually went once a week, maybe twice. And you know what? I was cool with that. Now that I'm pregnant, I am TERRIFIED to poop. And friends, I'll tell you why. So one day the urge to poop hits me and I'm thinking YAY, I finally have to go poop! I settle on the can and I'm completely oblivious to the horrendous events that are about to take place. So, there it goes.... and then it doesn't. I had a rock hard turd lodged halfway out of my bunghole refusing to come out. I mean it literally stayed there for FIVE MINUTES. I know you're not supposed to strain but... come on!!! I started to panic and have a complete emotional breakdown on the toilet. I had mental images of PB having to carry me with my pants around my ankles to the emergency room so they could extract this turd out of my butt. Finally, it came out and I called it quits and since then I have been absolutely terrified any time I get the urge to poop. True story. Pregnancy sucks.

3. Not having our car yet SUCKS. This place is nothing but hills. It's cold. I have asthma. None of this makes for any fun walking all around base. I've basically given up going to the gym since I've been here because I don't want to deal with the walk TO the gym. Stupid logic? Yeah... so what?

4. The thing I probably hate most is depending on other people for things. I'm extremely independent and honestly, I'm kind of anti-social. So, when PB wants me to call so and so's wife to see if she'll drive me around to look for houses, I want to lay on the ground and throw a temper tantrum and scream "Nooooooo! Why can't we just do it togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrr?" Yeah, real mature I know. I just hate asking for help. And I mean seriously, what if she's busy? I hate feeling like an inconvenience. And then I'll actually have to pretend to be a nice person and talk to her. Because.... she's actually pretty nice. Nice people make me uncomfortable. I feel like an even bigger asshole when I'm around them.

5. I hate my skin. I want to rip off my face and start all over again. At this point, it's mostly dark red scars covering my face with a few friendly pimples to keep them company. I don't know how to get rid of them. I've been rubbing Bio Oil on my face the last three nights but I kind of feel like that's counterproductive. Putting oil on my face when I'm complaining about pimples? I don't know. At this point, I'll try anything. Suggestions?

I'm going to have to follow this with a post tomorrow about shit that makes me happy because I feel like I've been a Negative Nancy. Expect a post about food. lol.