Good Effing Riddance!

Goodbye 2010! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

This year has been nothing short of stressful. Quitting my job to move and not having my own income for the first time in 10 years, the pregnancy, the moving around from country to country, state to state, dealing with a plethora of new doctors throughout my pregnancy, gestational diabetes, struggling to find a place to live, spending the holidays in a shitty hotel room, and our car... our wonderful new car... which made it to us yesterday... and refused to start. Yes, it's been WONDERFUL.

I'm more than ready for the new year!

I'm going to be a mommy and get the chance to totally screw up a little human being all on my own. I get to see Christopher become an awesome daddy. I get to move into our house and set up shop making it a home for our baby to grow up in. Family will be visiting throughout the year to meet our baby and keep me company while Christopher is deployed. I get to finally make use of my Canon and take a million pictures of our baby. And I'll be able to eat rice and noodles again! Do you know how hard it is for an Asian to have gestational diabetes and not be able to eat rice or noodles? WTF! Torture! So YAY to an entire year full of rice and noodles!

While I'm sure I'll be just as insane next year as I was this year, I can't wait! It seems so much more promising because I know we'll have our baby girl to kick off the brand new spankin' year.

It's going to be legen.... wait for it... dary!!!

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Currently Reading:

Food Obsession

Is it sad that I'm sitting here sniffing my fingers because they smell like the honey pretzel snacks that I just inhaled? Probably.

My life revolves completely around food now. I am constantly hungry. Seriously. CONSTANTLY. I don't know how people survive on these fucking low carb diets. Who are you people and what magical powers do you possess to make this shit bearable? Sprinkle some of that fairy dust on my hungry ass.

I went to the grocery store today because the roads were finally driveable. It actually stopped snowing at some point last night, the plows were able to do their business, and the base didn't look like so much of a ghost town. I found some snacks that fit under my carb limit so I was really excited. I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am of the same old snacks.

So, Christmas is in 4 days and I am still not in the Christmas spirit. Living in a hotel room kind of does that I guess. However, I have started thinking about Christmas things that I want to do with my little family in the future and that makes me happy. It's just a little disappointing that Christopher will be deployed for the baby's first Christmas. Well, her first everything really. I should probably stop thinking about it before I start crying.

And dear sweet baby Jesus. Could I cry any more? I cry all the time now. It's like the first trimester revisited. I feel like a fucking baby. I make Christopher look like an asshole at restaurants because I don't know, green beans or something else ridiculous set me off.

Fuck. I'm tired of writing because it is keeping me from smelling the pretzel snacks. Is this what crack fiends feel like?

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Currently Reading:

I wish there were a McDonalds diet.

After starting this stupid Gestational Diabetes diet, I have spent more of my time being hungry than anything else. I think about food constantly. I check the clock every 10 minutes to see if it's time for my snack yet. Is it healthy to be this hungry all the time?

I can only have 15 grams of carbs for breakfast and 15 grams of carbs for my morning snack. Do you know how hard it is to get full off of 15 grams of carbs? I was able to find ONE brand of whole wheat toast that had 12 grams of carbs in ONE slice. The rest had 20 grams a slice. I just walked around the tiny grocery store yesterday trying to find food that was somewhat appetizing and fit under the allowed carb allowances for each of my snacks and meals. I spend most of my day wondering what the fuck I'm going to eat within my carb limit without having a kitchen. Food is no longer enjoyable. It feels like a crime to do this to a pregnant woman.

I can't believe I have to do this for the next 3 months.

This is what I have been daydreaming about for the last two hours:

At this point, I'm sure this is EXACTLY what Heaven must taste like.

So much for cupcakes.

See the above picture? This is further proof that my body hates being pregnant. My face is rebelling with some serious fucking acne and now, I find out that my pancreas has been flipping me the bird for a while. 

Luckily, I don't really have it too bad and I eat relatively healthy anyway so all I have to do is make some adjustments to my diet. Like setting a god damn alarm to eat stupid ass breakfast in the morning and eating at the same times every day, making sure to eat snacks inbetween meals, and poke my poor fingers to death. I also get to count carbs. Fun shit! Do you have any idea how hard it is to try and stay under a carb count for every meal when you're living in a hotel room and don't have a kitchen? There are all of 4 restaurants off post, two of them that serve heavy German food, a Kebab place that claims to have chicken but doesn't, and an Italian joint that doesn't believe in serving food without drowning it in a tub of salt first. I have gotten creative with the snacks I can eat in the hotel room but honestly, it is really hard to stay under the carb count for breakfast and the morning snack when you don't have a kitchen. 

And if Christopher gives me any more "helpful advice" about food, I am going to punch him in the god damn face. "I told you that you should have been eating that," "Remember what you said earlier about how much you could eat," "Why aren't you looking at the pamphlet to see what you can eat?"

OMFG. How about FUCK the pamphlet because unless I can shake the damn thing and food is going to magically fall out, THIS DOES NOT HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO EAT AT 8:00AM when we have jack shit in this hotel room to eat that fits under the stupid carb count and the grocery store is closed!

I'm not even really annoyed with the Gestational Diabetes. I'm annoyed with fucking Captain Carbohydrate and his god damn annoying fucking advice!

I am tempted to shove an entire loaf of bread down his self righteous throat.

I guess you can't bullshit a blood test.

Guess who failed the 1 hour glucose test?

Fuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk. Now I have to go back to the lab at 7:30 tomorrow morning and sit there for 3+ hours. Couldn't we have done this in essay form? I'm sure I would have been able to bullshit my way to a passing grade.

I realize I'm very behind on the glucose test. The joys of moving to 3 different places in the last 4 months.

So yes, here's to hoping I don't have the diabeetus. Maybe I shouldn't have inhaled those fucking cupcakes last week...

Anyone have any book suggestions for me just in case I finish the one I'm reading right now by tonight? My Kindle is going to get abused tomorrow while I drink the drank and get my life juice sucked out of me every hour.