"Don't Judge Me"

So, I had sex last night. Obviously, I failed at following doctor's orders. If I waited the full 6 weeks, the only type of sex I'd be having is with my vibrator since Christopher would be gone. So, sorry doc!

I felt like a horrible mother. The first time having sex with a new baby sharing the same roof was just kind of weird. I know, I'll get over it. It just kind of freaked me out a little. So, we rushed it. And rushing it was probably a horrible idea. They really aren't lying when they say that breastfeeding dries you out. Apparently in the last four weeks, the fucking Sahara Desert has taken up residence in my underpants. Of course we didn't have lube because this normally is a non-issue for us. Combine that with having to get used to Christopher again after 4 weeks and it was like losing my virginity. And really, how fucking fun was that the first time around? Afterwards, I went to get Isabella and she had at some point thrown up all over herself. As I picked up my baby with throw up all over her head, I was convinced that CPS was going to break down my door and whisk her away.

I was determined to make tonight better. Before leaving the house, I informed Christopher that we needed to buy lube and condoms. His response? "The commissary has self check out right?" So off we went to the commissary. As he got ready to get out of the car I told him to grab some bread. He laughs and says, "Lube, condoms, and bread. Great combination!"

A little while later I see him walking back to the car shaking his head. He had gone through a regular line and two teenage girls were the cashier and bagger. All he could say when they rang him up was "Don't judge me."

It would have made my day to check out a guy who purchased those items. I would have come up with all sorts of sick shit he would be using the bread for instead of actually making sandwiches.

Oh, and tonight was better. The grilled cheese sandwiches were also good.