I am no longer homeless.

We are officially moved in. It's been a stressful week but honestly, I am extremely happy! We still have a LONG way to go on getting the house ready but we're slowly (very slowly) getting there.

My life is pretty much Murphy's Law in action. Sometimes it's really annoying, and a lot of times, it's actually pretty funny. In the beginning of our relationship Christopher used to tell me to be optimistic and that I was just paranoid but after two years together, he has admitted that it's amazing how off track things get for me. However, it kind of levels out because everything always work out for him. You seriously have no idea the luck that this man has. Life rolls out a red carpet for him everywhere he goes. He's running late? Oh, what do you know... so is the bus that he's supposed to catch. Free upgrade? Sure, why not? I'm not going to complain though because I get to reap the benefits simply by association.

Our bedroom set was delivered and the bed rails and mirror are magically not in stock right now so we have to wait to actually put the bed together. Oh and the headboard they delivered was damaged so they have to replace that as well. Fun! So, we are sleeping on a boxspring and mattress on the floor.

The Army screwed up royally so we have absolutely no living room furniture until the first or second week of February. There are boxes piled sky high that the movers are supposed to come back to pick up... whenever that is.

The good news is that we have been working feverishly on the baby's nursery so that it's ready even if the rest of the house is a complete disaster. Yay for being responsible parents!

I'm getting a brand new doctor on Wednesday. He'll be the one performing my c-section now. I found this out today when I got to the hospital. They informed me that they cancelled my appointment and were moving it to Wednesday to do a meet and greet. Awesome. Seriously, awesome.

Christopher leaves to go on TDY to Georgia for 5 days tomorrow morning. The same morning that IKEA is delivering our day bed, wardrobe, and kitchen island... all of which need to be assembled. So... that means they'll just sit there until next week! There's no way in hell that I'd even be able to attempt to put that shit together without losing my mind or killing myself. This also means that the boxes of coats and shoes will sit there until Christopher gets back as well.

Here's to hoping that the baby doesn't make an appearance while daddy is on another continent!

I can't believe I only have two more weeks of a baby-free life!

Get In Mah Bellayyyy!

I hardly ever post belly pictures but the mood struck me tonight.

Christopher told me to smile. So, I did.

This is how I break it down in the club yo.

My attempt at a "serious" photo. I look constipated. But I'm not. I pooped an hour before this =)

This bitch means business. You like my white socks? Style, I has it.

My version of sexy.

This is usually the WTF face that Christopher gets when he has the camera. He fucking sucks at taking pictures.

Me, my psycho smile, and my little bitch man Philly.

Obviously the mood wasn't a very normal one.

I be tired.

Holy crap. I feel like a loser. A really out of shape loser. Is it possible to feel tired and winded just from standing up for too long? Because apparently, it's possible for me. I walk a lot slower now. Any exertion of energy just seems like too much to even consider. I refused to get out of bed until 10AM this morning. I honestly think I could have just laid there all day. Is it January yet?

It's snowing a bunch today and it looks really pretty outside. Reminds me of Narnia. Ugh, I just got sad because I don't have a real Aslan to cuddle with. How fucking awesome would that be? Anyway, it's really pretty and I should take a picture so I can share the prettiness but... I'm that lazy. We're supposed to go to a Christmas Market in Trier this weekend so I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures then to make up for it.

I'm not in the Christmas spirit. Mostly because we'll more than likely be spending Christmas in our hotel room. I'm thinking of drawing a Christmas tree and taping it to the wall. Festive, no? I don't want to travel too far that late into my pregnancy because with my luck, I'd be a few hours out of town and the baby would decide to make her appearance. I'm really crossing my fingers that that doesn't happen because none of our baby furniture, and this includes the carseat, has even made it off the boat yet. It's just floating out there on the ocean somewhere. So is our car. I wish I could make them magically appear. I bet Aslan could make it happen.

I finally ordered my diaper bag last night. I hope it gets here before the baby. I've started to procrastinate a lot. I just started thinking about my hospital bag. Who knows when I'll actually make an effort to get it ready.

Skip Hop Versa Diaper Bag

Pretty snazzy right? I'd like to think that I could still want to dress like that mom in the picture after the baby. We'll see what really happens. At least my diaper bag will be somewhat stylish. I'm sure it'll look great with what I'll actually look like:

This is the diaper bag that Christopher got... like two months ago.

Diaper Dude Black Diaper Bag with Dragon

Funny story. There's this chick that was totally in love with him - supposedly my friend. Anyway, she spent $60 bucks on this diaper bag for him from our registry and $10 bucks on the baby. Hey, I'm not gonna complain about anything anyone buys because that's less shit I have to buy but I just found it hilarious that she spent so much on the one thing on the registry that was for him. We honestly just threw it up there not thinking that anyone would buy it. So yes, daddy has a diaper bag already and mommy just had to buy one. lol. I wish I had a stalker dammit.

Gobble Gobble!

I'm an idiot.

I feel like I'm a Thanksgiving turkey right now. Stuffed and on the brink of exploding. Why do I feel this way? Well, never mind the fact that I have a human being taking over my body, I also decided to keep her company with a ridiculous amount of food. Why do I always do this to myself? I am so miserable right now I could just throw a tantrum and kick people in the shins. I just wish I had people to kick in the shins. I don't think PB would appreciate that and I would just feel like an asshole if I kicked the dogs. Vega already has a bum leg and Philly... well he just looks pathetic to begin with.

I'm seriously tired of being pregnant. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it and tell PB that this is our one and only child because I refuse to go through this again. I know I'll be a total idiot and do this again though. Do you think one day we'll evolve and reproduce in a way that doesn't totally suck ass? Dude, I want to live in THAT future. The top of my belly button is starting to poke out. Cute yeah? No.

I cried last night. I was looking at a clothing website that had really cute dresses. Honestly, I have nowhere to go that I'd need a fucking dress but that's not the point. I could wear them if I didn't look like I had a basketball stuck to me. So then I start thinking about how I'm going to look after I have this baby and I get scared. I mean seriously... where did all this extra skin come from? I don't have stretch marks yet but I am going to get bigger than this. It's just hard for me to understand how I even had room/skin to grow as much as I did but after the baby.... where the fuck does it all go??? What if I just have this deflated tire of extra skin around my mid-section?

So I'm laying in bed feeling pretty sorry for myself and PB tries to get frisky. I just feel so disgusted with how I look that I tell him no and start crying. Pathetic right? So then he stops and tells me that I'm still beautiful and I'm not fat. I start blubbering about my horrible pregnancy acne and my stupid hair and my fat arms and legs and he just tells me I'm silly and that everything will be fine after the baby. I waited until he fell asleep and then I woke him up to have sex. LOL! I find myself doing this a lot now. I don't know what my deal is! He'll start getting frisky and I'll tell him no. He starts falling asleep, and I get irritated that he's falling asleep and then I initiate. I mean what the hell is that about?

So yeah, one of the many reasons I think my sanity said goodbye a long time ago.

Auf Wiedersen

We're headed to the airport in a few minutes! I thought I'd be more excited to be heading to Germany but I'm just kind of tired and nervous about the dogs flying again.

But what AM I excited for? The prospect of Jack in the Box breakfast. Seriously, I just discovered Jack in the Box breakfast last week and I'm a little upset it took me so long to have it. Booooooo! Now I have to wait a whole year to eat it again!

I wonder how uncomfortable this flight is gonna be at 29 weeks pregnant. I'm crossing my fingers we're able to get exit row or bulkhead seats because PB is 6'5" and I don't want him invading my leg space for 9+ hours.

Okay, packing the last odds and ends up! Wish me luck!

I feel like a marshmallow

Why do I feel like I have pillows where my arms used to be? Seriously, whose arms are these?!

I'm having a poor me day. My poor body... Before you get all preachy on me and tell me how horrible I am for being vain and caring about my body while I'm creating the miracle of life, let me just say... bite me. I miss my nice flat tummy and I'm scared that I will never get it back. So far, I haven't gotten any stretch marks. If I could knock on wood 24/7 to prevent them, I would. I'm scared I'll have a butt where my stomach used to be. I showed postpartum pics to PB and he made it a point to look very unaffected by them. I know what he was thinking though and I want to cry. I am now more determined than ever to kill myself in the gym after this baby makes her grand entrance.

But being the idiot that I am, instead of eating a healthy snack, I just ate a gourmet cupcake. I fucking suck. Seriously, I want to punch myself in the face.

It's a celebration bitches!

I've rejoined civilization! We are out of Sierra Vista, AZ and now we're hanging out at my parents in Austin, TX. Oh the pretty stores! The nice normal people! And having a variety of restaurants to choose from? GLORIOUS! After our three months in Sierra Vista, I've realized that I can NEVER live in a small town. I would die. I'm pretty sure I was about 3 days away from going absolutely bat shit crazy. Well really, I don't have a choice in this matter for the next 7 or so years. The Army tells us where to live so if there's someone's ass I can kiss, I wish they'd point me in the right direction. We fly out to Germany on Monday. Sadly, we're going to a small town in Germany but I'm trying to make myself feel better because hey, it's Germany!

My back is killing me. I feel like an old person. I seriously am beginning to believe that my pimples are like little settlers fighting for valuable real estate on my face. It's getting really hard to move around and I think I'm only a couple of weeks from needing a fucking forklift to help me get off the couch.

It's me and PB's one year wedding anniversary. We had a super romantic day of driving down to Fort Hood with my parents, eating Jack in the Box breakfast sandwiches (and yes, I also had a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and curly fries in addition to my breakfast combo... bite me), and following my mom around the PX and Commissary and trying to hurry her along. When we got home, I got a surprise delivery of beautiful red roses and then PB and I went to go eat Pho for dinner. YUM. It's what we ate on our first date. I know, how cute! Now our friend Parker is driving up from San Antonio to stay the night at my parent's house for the next two nights before we go to Germany. PB is an ass. He wants to golf tomorrow morning so now his friend is sleeping over tonight. Annnnnnnd, PB has been drinking with my dad. If he gets Whiskey Dick on our anniversary, I'm going to be pissed.

I'm getting laid tonight. Seriously though, as if having sex in my parents house wasn't awkward enough (did I mention my 19 year old sister also lives at home), now we're adding a friend to the household. It's not like I can be like "Hey Assholes! I need to get me some so go to bed!"

Oh, and I got my Kindle in the mail yesterday. I get really bored and buy things to make myself feel amused for a while. I'm already bored with it =\ Mostly because I still have real books to read and I just really love buying and collecting books. I like the way they feel in my hands and the way they smell and I like seeing them on the bookshelf. I guess the Kindle makes sense though in cutting down the poundage for when we have to pack up and move. So far, the only thing I've downloaded is The Picture of Dorian Gray to read again. Seriously, it was free! What's not to love about that?

I'm late on reading this but I just started Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol.

Pho and Salted Pepper Chicken. YUM!