Yeah, I'm too lazy to post pictures.

So I realized that I'm pretty bad at this blog thing. I'm also really bad posting pictures.... and taking them. I must have been in la-la-land when I started this blog and I thought I'd be all Super Mom and be sensitive and loving and all that jazz. Yeah, I can't fight my personality. Bean will learn sooner or later that I am an absolute asshole with a lot of neurotic tendencies. The baby has won the lottery!

So, we go to have our anatomy scan yesterday. Epic fail. The on post hospital refers us off post because they don't have OB/GYN capabilities. The OB/GYN doesn't have ultrasound equipment soooooo, back on post I go. The tech remained pretty silent throughout the whole ordeal. Not very comforting when you're sitting there wondering if your baby is deformed or is missing a vital organ. PB tried to make conversation and ask questions but the tech was a total twat. She also would not confirm gender. So now we have an appointment in a town an hour and a half away just to confirm that the baby didn't grow a penis in the last 4 weeks. I'm a little upset that we have to pay $155 to confirm but I also really like to look at the baby because hellooooo, I'm growing an alien and that's pretty freakin cool to look at.

I've been a little moody lately. I deleted all of my friends on facebook. Everyone was pissing me off. I'm slowly adding people back on though. And PB irritated me today at lunch. He said Arby's sounds good. I've told him multiple times that I don't like Arby's. He starts in on me asking, "Have you even tried their chicken sandwiches?" to which of course I replied, "No, and I don't want to." And he tries asking me again. I mean WTF! I don't like Arby's! I don't know why I am so against Arby's but just leave me the fuck alone about god damn Arby's!!! FUCK ARBY'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It made me cry and we ended up getting Wendy's drive through and eating at home and not speaking to each other.

Seriously though... fuck Arby's.

12 Weeks Today

Bean is 12 weeks today. We had an appointment on Thursday to do some testing that the hospital in Korea didn't do. I got to hear the heartbeat and Bean was ticking away at 163 bpm. It was nice to hear especially since I worry so much. I wish that Poppa Bean could have been there to hear it. I have an ultrasound in two weeks and they're going to prick my finger and test the blood to check for Downs Syndrome risks. I know that there are a lot of false positives but really, I just wanted to get the ultrasound and see the baby. Poppa Bean won't be there for that either and it sucks. If I can find out the gender at 14 weeks, I think I'll still wait. Poppa Bean will be back by my 16 week appointment and I think I am going to pay an ultrasound clinic that does 3D ultrasounds at 16 weeks to do a gender determination while Poppa Bean is there. It's going to be really hard not to want to ask what the sex is at my ultrasound though. It might still be too early to tell but it would be fun if they could see it.

I'm still not showing yet but I feel like my fat is being poked out more on my tummy. I mean I know I'm still skinny but I have a tiny bit of pudge on my tummy and it just looks bigger lately. Probably because I'm so bloated. The nausea is gone. I haven't thrown up in about a week and two days. The bloating is not as bad as it used to be anymore. I have started to get dizzy whenever I stand up though. The acne is starting to go away too.

I just really miss Poppa Bean. It's been really tough being without him this week. Time goes by so slowly and I feel like my heart is torn in two. I know it's just a month but it's just a glimpse into what his first deployment will be like. It just makes me want to break down and cry. I really wish we had met before he decided to go indefinite in the military. I know it's selfish but I just don't want to deal with another 12 years of the Army telling him to leave his family for a year. It's just not fair... cry me a river right? It's just a bad day...

Bean's First Photoshoot

We had our first ultrasound today! It was amazing! Bean was measuring up like he should and we got to listen to the heartbeat! 120bpm! The doctor pointed out little nubs that are popping out that are going to be his little legs. We got to keep pictures and they gave me my medical record to take since we are PCS'ing. I'll have to make another appoinment in Austin. We're flying out tomorrow and headed to Austin with the dogs. Hopefully everything goes smoothly! I just have to stay hydrated and get up and walk around every hour or so to avoid blood clots.

Here's Bean!

[caption id="attachment_65" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Bean\'s first picture!"][/caption]