Well... psycho me has quieted down.

My last post was kind of psychotic.

I promise, I'm a little more sane now. I'd like to pretend that that post never happened. Cool? Cool.

I'm 19 weeks and 3  days now. I can't believe I'm halfway there. I guess I should explain why I'm halfway there. After much deliberation and battling with being judged, I've decided to go for an elective c-section. It's what I'm comfortable with, DH supports me, and to hell with every single one of you mommier-than-thou assholes who judge women who go for elective c-sections. I could go on about my irritation of the c-section bashers but I won't. It's my baby, it's my body, it's my pregnancy, and it's my decision.

We've decided on a name that we are both in love with and we've also gotten most of our registry done. We haven't told anyone the gender of the baby yet because we're waiting until after our 20 week ultrasound next Wednesday. Honestly, I don't even want to tell anyone then either because I'm being really possessive about the baby now. I don't really know what it is but I just don't want anyone knowing anything about the baby. I've gotten really irritated with people asking because I want to tell them to mind their own business. I don't even want family members being too excited because I don't want them overstepping my mommy kingdom. It sounds so stupid and I know it's irrational but apparently it's normal for your first pregnancy/baby. I feel slightly less crazy.

I still have pregnancy acne which is extremely frustrating. I've been feeling the baby kick and roll around for a few weeks now and she's gotten a lot stronger. Poppa Bean has yet to feel a good kick but I think it's gonna happen within the next week or so. Hopefully soon because I think he's getting a little jealous. lol. Other than that, everything has been pretty normal. I still don't really have any cravings or anything and I don't really eat any more than I did. Actually, I eat less than I did before because I get full so quickly now. I think I've gained about 5 lbs and I don't think that's too bad for 5 months pregnant.