Friday, December 10, 2010

If Vaginas Could Talk

I have very fucked up dreams on a nightly basis and I always remember them in detail. Sometimes, I don't know if I want to. Christopher is always amazed and says that he would love to live inside my brain for a while.

Should I be worried that I had a dream about talking vaginas? There were two. Apparently I was at a high powered board meeting and one lady in a business skirt opened up her legs to showcase her unpantied vagina and it started talking. Then the other lady, who ended up being Jennifer Aniston, did the same thing. Except her little happy button looked exactly like my currently outtie belly button and she squeezed it and squirted something out of it. I know, fucking gross right? At least you didn't have to actually see it.

I can't for the life of me remember what the hell the vaginas were saying though. I don't know why that bothers me. Maybe they had an important message for me and now, it's just lost somewhere in my subconscious.

2 comments:

Breanna said...

I seriously laughed at your dream! I have some pretty gnarly dreams too!

madge said...

I have had terribly heinous dreams since I've been pregnant. It's ranged from the basic "giving birth to a 50 pound baby" to the old classic "being chased by pregnant zombie-vampires". Never had any genitalia speaking to me, though. Oh, I wish you could remember what they said! It was probably like...the meaning of life or something.

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